Comments on: Work-Related Stress and Depression

By: Jane Chin, Ph.D.

Jane Chin, Ph.D. — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 02:42:20 +0000

I’m sorry to hear you are having such a hard time

In terms of the messy house… I’d give your husband an option when he complains: learn to make peace with living in a messy house given that his wife works full time too and is trying to stay sane doing that while also being a good mom to 2 kids – or – he is welcome to allocate a budget for a house-cleaner. If a clean house is that important to him, and he cannot take time away from playing video games (i.e. that is his down-time, I get it), then he needs to look at hiring a house-cleaner.

Or, you can offer to pay for a house-cleaner and have him go without something else that you usually foot the bill for.

I think you need a good friend or a support system who can give you moral support. It sounds like you probably have that through your volunteer and freelance work – you just have to learn to ask for help and someone to talk to when you need it! Don’t keep it all inside.

By: Nowhere to go

Nowhere to go — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 16:19:57 +0000

Very helpful. Thank you. I know I am competent because when I work with others outside my work place (volunteer or freelance), I am respected and complimented for my work. It is only at my full-time job that I am criticized, insulted and treated like an incompetent child. I can’t leave though because there are not a lot of job options right now and the pay and benefits are too important for my family. I am a married mother of two and make more income than my spouse. I feel trapped at this job because of this and there is no one to talk to there to resolve these issues. I have gone to management, but they are the ones perpetuating this problem. I have gone to my union, but they can do nothing unless I file a grievance and then I get get labeled as a trouble maker. I have checked out emotionally at work, except for the crying which I will do at home in private (like now). My husband doesn’t get it either. He complains because the house is mess and then plays video games all day on his days off. I don’t know what to do anymore. Each day brings more frustration and unhappiness. Your article does help me know I am not alone, however. Glad I found it when I was looking for resources.

By: Jane Chin, Ph.D.

Jane Chin, Ph.D. — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 21:13:47 +0000

Thanks for commenting Darren and I’m sorry that you are having a rough time at work. Your boss may not realize that your “incompetence” is as big of a reflection on his/her inability to support employees and get them the additional training or coaching/mentoring they need to do their best work! Most employees want to be engaged at work and to contribute their talents – we human beings derive the most satisfaction when we know what we are giving something of value from within and that we are working with purpose (as well as on purpose in ideal cases).

I’m wondering if there is a way to build a bridge – make an ally perhaps. Maybe we can try an experiment to see if those gurus espousing positive self-reinforcement are right (and it does no harm if we see this as an experiment and remain as objective as possible) – every day for the next 21 days, right before you go into work, anytime you see yourself in the mirror, smile a big smile and say “there is at least 1 person who likes me in the office today!” Then make it a game to find who that person is. It doesn’t have to be the same person every day.

By: Darren

Darren — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 21:41:22 +0000

Thanks for writing this article, as someone who has two failed suicide attempts behind them, I realise that I will always suffer from depression, and will always rely on my medication and professional help (when I can afford it) to survive.

My boss at work thinks I am incompetent and has said so. I have a Wife and Son that I need to provide for. I fear the pressure will make me relapse and return to my old ways of coping – self harm.

Self harm is awful and was just the beginning behind my second suicide attempt.

It’s horrible walking into the office, knowing that no one likes me, no one wants to talk to me, other than to criticise my performance, or give me more work to do.

You are absolutely spot on, to highlight how crucial a role happiness at work can play in avoiding relapse from depression.

I just wish every employer took it seriously. I know if my employer found out about my illness, it would just be another reason to sack me.

By: jim

jim — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 22:57:04 +0000

bump… Good stuff Dr… thanks for putting it up!

By: Jane Chin, Ph.D.

Jane Chin, Ph.D. — Fri, 12 Jan 2007 02:11:04 +0000

Hi Keren:

So you relate! Yes, take the time and smell flowers. It literally takes a few seconds.

Best wishes,
Jane

By: keren

keren — Wed, 10 Jan 2007 18:26:02 +0000

This is just how I feel and I’ve never seen it written down before. This could have been written by me.

I need to smell the flowers. Figuratively AND literally.