Mental Health

Where Do I Begin?

Finding out you have a mental illness is very frightening even when you probably have been living with it long enough to know something is wrong. You have talked to your friends and family members and nothing seems to be getting better. You suspect this may be more than just “psychological” or an occasional case of the blues. What do you do? Based on personal experience, here are important steps I’ve found that helped:

Write down a list

Write a list of what has been going on with you that puts you at the current point you are in. The reason why you’ll want to write this down (ex. “losing productivity at work, not eating, trouble sleeping”) is because you will have to recount them on the spot when you call a doctor. Answering questions can put you in an uncomfortable spot, so it will be easier to have things written down. When I first made the phone calls, I was embarrassed and nervous. I almost changed my mind and hung up the phone!

Here’s a short list to get you started; the list is actually based on a few of the criteria for diagnosis of major depression. For bipolar disorder, you may want to also include any extremes in behavior such as sexual indiscretion, spending sprees, incomprehensible and racing thoughts, or extreme euphoria.

You’ll probably need only a few items here for the initial phone call to make an appointment. Bring the entire list with any new information you can think of with you to the actual doctor’s appointment:

* How long have I felt this way?
* Have I lost sleep or slept more than usual?
* Have I gained weight or lost a weight in the past few weeks?
* Have I felt like doing nothing, including things I used to enjoy doing?
* Do I feel like if I were to disappear from the world no one would notice or care?
* Have I begun to try alcohol or painkillers (or any other drugs or substances) to try to “dull” the pain?
* Have I felt constantly irritated or aggravated for the past several weeks?

Call your insurance company

Find out who may be participating providers under your insurance. This is so you know what will be covered and what the policies are. The insurance companies will ask you for the symptoms and this is where your list comes in. When you are speaking with an insurance representative, remember to ask about coverage on medications and numbers of visits. Most health plans only cover a number of therapy sessions - after that you may have to pay a large percentage of the doctor’s fees. Medications may also have a copay.

Call the doctor

The receptionist will ask you why you believe you need help. Tell them what’s on the list.

Now you have a doctor’s appointment. Unless you got lucky (I didn’t!) and could see the doctor THAT AFTERNOON, you have to wait a few days - maybe even a week. What do you do till then?

Take control by learning

Educate yourself on what you may be facing. Chances are, you have a clue to what may be wrong (for example, “I feel more than just blue” or “My mood swings seem to be getting out of hand”). Even if you aren’t sure, there are places where you can browse to start homing in on what might be going on with your moods.

There are many shades of depression or bipolar disorder or traumatic disorder - you may learn which category you may fit in. Don’t be tempted to look at all the disorders and think that you have all of them! I want to emphasize that it is important NOT to make a self diagnosis. Many disorders have overlapping symptoms. If you make up your mind before speaking with a professional, you may cloud the presentation of the clinical symptoms by emphasizing what you believe should be emphasized.

Try to remain objective about the severity of the symptoms. Losing a few nights of sleep because you’re blue is not the same as losing 2 months of sleep because your mind is racing constantly.

Get support

The fastest means of support may come from a newsgroup. Newsgroups are also a wonderful resource for support. Why would you want to do that? Because one of the best things you can do for yourself right now is to seek support and know that you are NOT alone. Ask for email support if that is what you need. People posting there are likely to be going through what you may be going through and will be very glad to communicate because they have been where you are.

Getting support from news groups has been a tremendous help for me. One of the “common” characteristics of people who are depressed is a feeling of isolation and loneliness: “I’m the only weird nut feeling this way and no one else is as crazy as I am.” Getting in touch with people who understood how I was feeling was a big relief.

Remind yourself that it’s all right to “feel bad” then go through the motions of daily life. Sometimes people invalidate their feelings by telling themselves that they shouldn’t be feeling bad. They end up being angry with themselves, which makes them feel worse. Allow yourself to feel bad, but keep doing the boring everyday stuff. Even if you only get one thing done today, you did it, and it wasn’t easy.

© 2008 by Jane Chin, Ph.D. (email) All Rights Reserved.
Abstract logo images by Asif Akbar