Thank You, Tom Pauken II!

I was so inspired when I read Tom’s personal account with bipolar disorder.

I don’t even think trying to summarize what Tom has written will do his story justice, I only ask that you please read, “A Personal Perspective of Manic Depression: This reporter gives a first-hand account about the bipolar disorder” for yourself. Tom has given me permission to reprint his article, which I’ve published on NakedMedicine.com.

In reading Tom’s story, I remembered those darkest days of my life when I was deep in the throes of severe depression and PTSD. To say that I was living in a nightmare 24-7 was an understatement. At that time of my life, I honestly believed that if my car veered off the highway and I was killed, no one would notice. At that time of my life, I sometimes fantasized about being murdered so I could be put out of my misery.

Some of us put on an act and we hide it well. Tom’s first visit to a psychiatrist sounded familiar. His psychiatrist was amazed that Tom was able to accomplish so many things in college and get good grades and look like he’s moving ahead in life. My psychologist was amazed that I was “in a PhD program and functional” and not lying dead in a ditch somewhere.

Yet there was something within Tom, within me, and within countless people who suffer from depression and bipolar disorder – something stronger than even the illness itself.

I don’t know what this is, but I can only describe it as a transcending strength that rises above the physical and biochemical ailments that have plagued us most of our lives. As we fight the fight within our minds and bodies, that strength inches us forward and pulls us through situations that no one would believe we could live through, and we did.

We lived through it to tell about it.