Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But Words Can Scar Me For a Very Long Time
Researchers at Florida State University published a study that showed children who were verbally abused grow up to be prone to depression and anxiety. According to the university’s news release, “Invisible scars: Verbal abuse triggers adult anxiety, depression“, adults who were verbally abused had almost twice (1.6 times) the number of depression and anxiety symptoms as those who were not verbally abused, and were twice as likely to have suffered a mood or anxiety disorder during their lifetime.
Dr. Sachs-Ericsson was the principal investigator in the study and said, “We must try to educate parents about the long-term effects of verbal abuse on their children. The old saying about sticks and stones was wrong. Names will forever hurt you.”
The study was published in the Journal of Affective Disorders and represented data collected from over 5000 people ranging from ages 15 to 54. The study also implicated a role in cognitive behavioral therapy as part of treatment, to replace conditioned thought patterns with new thought patterns that are less harmful for a verbally abused person.
I was surprised to read that the researchers were surprised almost 1/3 of the participants reported the abusive behavior to come from parents. Verbal abuse reported included insults, swearing, threats, and spiteful comments or behavior. I wouldn’t be surprisd if these also included inflicting shame on the child and making the child feel worthless or evil - something I’ve experienced growing up.
Over time, the child grows up to internalize these “tapes” and even begin to reinforce the hurtful statements herself. The child then grows up to become hyper self-critical. This is something I’ve also experienced, and can say that at least for me, the long-term consequences of verbal abuse is staggering.
I commend Florida State University researchers for conducting and publishing this study. I hope it helps give a voice to those who had been victimized, and I want this to be a wake-up call to those who still think that words can’t harm a child.
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