Comments on: Father Liable for $400,000 for Emotional Abuse http://www.chinspirations.com/mhsourcepage/father-liable-for-400000-for-emotional-abuse Humanity Behind Depression and Bipolar Disorder since 1998 Mon, 26 Jul 2010 03:47:35 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Debbie Robinson http://www.chinspirations.com/mhsourcepage/father-liable-for-400000-for-emotional-abuse/comment-page-1#comment-126710 Debbie Robinson Sat, 07 Nov 2009 02:06:51 +0000 http://www.chinspirations.com/mhsourcepage/?p=26#comment-126710 I may need this article to send to the attorney who hopfully will be suing my Dad for emotional, mental, and physical abuse towards me for over 35 yrs. It started when I was 6 or 7 and he still hasn't stopped trying. It ends now and forever! He can go to hell... I may need this article to send to the attorney who hopfully will be suing my Dad for emotional, mental, and physical abuse towards me for over 35 yrs. It started when I was 6 or 7 and he still hasn’t stopped trying. It ends now and forever! He can go to hell…

]]> By: Jane Chin, Ph.D. http://www.chinspirations.com/mhsourcepage/father-liable-for-400000-for-emotional-abuse/comment-page-1#comment-103371 Jane Chin, Ph.D. Tue, 30 Dec 2008 17:57:58 +0000 http://www.chinspirations.com/mhsourcepage/?p=26#comment-103371 Dear Charley, Thank you for writing and for sharing your sad story with me. I am sorry to hear of all the tragedies and atrocities that you have experienced in your past. The guilt is very normal, many children who have been abused develop strong guilt. They feel guilty about thinking ill of the people who have mistreated or discarded them. I think part of your counseling journey will confront this guilt, and see whether this is a productive way to move forward. I personally have found that guilt has hardly helped me, except to make me feel bad about myself. I know these memories still haunt you now, and they may follow you for many more years to come. Yet you survived. You didn't "chicken out". On the contrary, I see your choice to live as showing that you have tremendous courage. It is not easy to live through pain, knowing how it feels to live with pain. I think somehow, your higher self knew that you were born for a reason, and that you needed to remain alive because you are important. We all serve a purpose, but not all of us become conscious or aware of this. Some of us simply don't care what the purpose is, and treat our own lives and other people's lives with no regard. You were dealt with a severe hand, and now you are strong enough to choose to lead the best life you can lead, in spite of what you have experienced in the past. It's not going to be easy, and you'll need to hang onto yourself, but I know you are the one who can do it. Sincerely, Jane Dear Charley,

Thank you for writing and for sharing your sad story with me. I am sorry to hear of all the tragedies and atrocities that you have experienced in your past.

The guilt is very normal, many children who have been abused develop strong guilt. They feel guilty about thinking ill of the people who have mistreated or discarded them. I think part of your counseling journey will confront this guilt, and see whether this is a productive way to move forward. I personally have found that guilt has hardly helped me, except to make me feel bad about myself.

I know these memories still haunt you now, and they may follow you for many more years to come. Yet you survived. You didn’t “chicken out”. On the contrary, I see your choice to live as showing that you have tremendous courage. It is not easy to live through pain, knowing how it feels to live with pain. I think somehow, your higher self knew that you were born for a reason, and that you needed to remain alive because you are important.

We all serve a purpose, but not all of us become conscious or aware of this. Some of us simply don’t care what the purpose is, and treat our own lives and other people’s lives with no regard. You were dealt with a severe hand, and now you are strong enough to choose to lead the best life you can lead, in spite of what you have experienced in the past. It’s not going to be easy, and you’ll need to hang onto yourself, but I know you are the one who can do it.

Sincerely,
Jane

]]> By: Charley http://www.chinspirations.com/mhsourcepage/father-liable-for-400000-for-emotional-abuse/comment-page-1#comment-103204 Charley Mon, 29 Dec 2008 01:28:29 +0000 http://www.chinspirations.com/mhsourcepage/?p=26#comment-103204 Dear Jane, I am 35 years old, overweight, divorced and now in a loving relationship with a wonderful man. My whole life my dad worked rotating shifts, my brother and I were told always to be quiet, even if dad was up and awake. I remember my dad force feeding my younger brother. Forcing food down the throat, literally. At age 11 I lost my virginity from a boy 17 after telling no numerous times. My mother was working part time but I didn't tell her what happened until much later. I started smoking cigarettes, became promiscuous and gaining weight. At age 13 I tried to commit suicide but chickened out. I remember rocking myself back in forth in the corner, my mom came into the room and I told her that I needed help and needed to see someone,she said no I didn't and that I am fine. I remember sitting on my parents bed while they had sex, I was maybe 7 or 8. I remember my mom and dad being seperated (can't remember if it was before this incident or after)and believed my mom had another boyfriend and/or girlfriend. She was an alcoholic, partied and smoked cigarettes and pot. I remember getting the belt to my butt and hollored at. I found out at 21 that my "dad" was not my biological father. I am treated differently than my younger brother. I get attention from my dad when I gain weight. I made the mistake of telling them that I was either manic-depressive or bipolar. I feel guilty being mad at them because there have been some good times, but what consumes my mind is the bad. I feel that I am full of anger and rage. I am going back to a psychologist this time because I am truly a freak and the last LICSW fell asleep in my sessions. They put me on a cocktail of different drugs that I couldn't stand and now don't take any. I am more in control but feel some more issues need to be dealt with. Other than agreeing that counseling would benefit, I would be interested in your thoughts. Thank you, Charley Dear Jane,
I am 35 years old, overweight, divorced and now in a loving relationship with a wonderful man. My whole life my dad worked rotating shifts, my brother and I were told always to be quiet, even if dad was up and awake. I remember my dad force feeding my younger brother. Forcing food down the throat, literally. At age 11 I lost my virginity from a boy 17 after telling no numerous times. My mother was working part time but I didn’t tell her what happened until much later. I started smoking cigarettes, became promiscuous and gaining weight. At age 13 I tried to commit suicide but chickened out. I remember rocking myself back in forth in the corner, my mom came into the room and I told her that I needed help and needed to see someone,she said no I didn’t and that I am fine. I remember sitting on my parents bed while they had sex, I was maybe 7 or 8. I remember my mom and dad being seperated (can’t remember if it was before this incident or after)and believed my mom had another boyfriend and/or girlfriend. She was an alcoholic, partied and smoked cigarettes and pot. I remember getting the belt to my butt and hollored at. I found out at 21 that my “dad” was not my biological father. I am treated differently than my younger brother. I get attention from my dad when I gain weight. I made the mistake of telling them that I was either manic-depressive or bipolar. I feel guilty being mad at them because there have been some good times, but what consumes my mind is the bad. I feel that I am full of anger and rage. I am going back to a psychologist this time because I am truly a freak and the last LICSW fell asleep in my sessions. They put me on a cocktail of different drugs that I couldn’t stand and now don’t take any. I am more in control but feel some more issues need to be dealt with. Other than agreeing that counseling would benefit, I would be interested in your thoughts.
Thank you,
Charley

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