Father Liable for $400,000 for Emotional Abuse
A Canadian man was ordered to pay $400,000 to his 41 year old daughter for a life time of emotional and physical abuse that amounted to severe mental distress for the woman.
Gory details of emotional and physical abuse amounted to the father attempting to kill his daughter. The woman was also sexually abused by her uncle when she was young. Not surprisingly, the woman suffers from numerous mental and anxiety disorders.
While putting a “dollar amount” on the horrendous suffering this woman has gone through may put this story in the headlines, and help bring awareness to abuse, I wonder if this has truly served justice for the woman. $400,000 seems a measley amount for 20 years of suffering. A few million dollars may be a better beginning (but of course, the father wouldn’t be able to pay that).
It was shameful that the father showed no remorse. It was unforgivable that the mother did nothing to protect her daughter from the abuse.
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9 Responses to “Father Liable for $400,000 for Emotional Abuse”
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emotional & verbal abuse is what I have dealt with and still am… I am , I am soon to be 46 yrs. young. I am still stuck in my high school years. I am a single Momof 14 yeats and have a very responsible, mature 15 year old son. I adore him beyond belief. I could write a bgook re: tjhe verbal & emotionAl abuse I grew up with w/ a single Momswho raised me alond with alll her vengence & hatred towards me from day 1. She supposedly was subject to being raised by many different foster parents and relatives. I was`constantly told “I was so stupd” and never amount to anything” humiliated in public continously. She`had and still does have huge issues. I never got an ounce of love or support. I never even knew what that was or what it felt like. It turns out I grew up to be quit attractive and talented,which olny made emotional & verbal abuse even worse. I need to write a book…if not for money for HEALING….i WELCOME any responses for help and healing it seems I have not been able to move up, out and betong this living hell, cruella deville is still alive and kicking me into the dirt. Haven’t dated in years, last break up she stated “what did you do make an ass of yourself.”.. I was ( 40 yrs/ old then) No One in my familky seems to want to see me and my son content and happy, when there seems to be a threat of that happening they go silent and really ready to sabbotage it. Please send HELP to smbc20970@yahoo.com
I apologize for all the typos I am a stickler on spelling…hence My own worst critic, got to pick up where Mommy dearest left off… and still has not let up. My life so far has been a MAde for TV movie (Lifetime channel) un freaking believablewhat I went from home coming queen to cleaning soiled hospital instuments in the dungeon 24/7 while all my friends were gettinga college education with support from their loving caring supportive parents and my cruel nasty vindictive mother said get out of this Apt.or pay half the rent while I was trying to put myself through college. I had no support , coaching,metoring,help…nothing. Absolutley nothing in the encouragement dept.
Hi Shannon,
I’m sorry to read about your situation and experience.
If the people around you do not provide you with support and encouragement, it may be time to remove yourself from those type of people. It may even mean physically moving away and starting fresh somewhere else, although it may not be realistic for everyone.
Cleaning soiled hospital instruments sounds like a very important job, considering that you’re responsible for the safety of patients who depend on clean hospital instruments. It sounds like a purposeful job, and you can be proud of what you do.
Sometimes we’re put on a particular path, different from someone else’s, for the lessons that we are supposed to learn in our lifetime.
We may not be able to choose whom we’re born to, but we can absolutely choose the type of person we want to become, by choosing what thoughts to think and what words to say to ourselves. At least, that was what worked for me so far.
jane
Hi Jane:
The following is my case: I am a 38 year old male. Since the time I was 4-5 years old my parents started fighting. Every where we went, every vacation we took, at the least expected moment, they would start fighting. The fights would last several days at a time. For me and my siblings it became torture. Several psycologists tried helping, but they all concluded that THERE WAS NO FIXING this situation. So instead of divorcing, they kept on fighting. This went on for close to 25 years. Hell, they still get together and fight !
The oldest brother is 42 years old, has had 3 marriages, a son and daughter in two of those…… my sister who is 40 has had 2 marriages, a child in the first and 3 in the second. She is now happily married (15years), but has needed a lot of counseling. The youngest brother is 36, and still living with Mom because he hasn’t been able to organize himself professionally. And me ? I suffer from depression. I have spent the last few years of my life learning about my condition, and how to get rid of it. It’s been a huge struggle! What I discovered is that almost ALL of what’s happened in my life has been due to the family turmoil we livved for 25 years. When I was I child, no one fought for my rights. I have tried to make my parents understand that my condition is due to their fighting. They have turned their back on me, telling me that I am an adult, that they were good parents, and that they no longer have to help me. They are both economically VERY well off. I need help to get my life back on track. Just so that you know, I am not sitting on my butt waiting for people to help me, quite the contrary, I wake up everyday at 4:30 am, I jog for an hour, I do 1 hour of Yoga, I eat as well as possible (there are days when they have left me with no food). In other words, I am doing as much as possible to help myself. In the community where I live, people appreciate me tremendously, for the work I do. I do not know who else to turn to for help, if not my family. When I ask Mom for help, she says “Go ask you Dad to help you, since he is so perfect” and the same happens when I turn for help towards my father. I have been researching the legal responsibility of parents in cases like mine, but have not been lucky finding information. My intention is not to sue my parents for eveything they have. I wish my parents a good life in the years they have left. But I dont’ believe it’s fair for me to be in this situation. I am not asking for much from them. Just enought to get my life back on track. Monetary wise it would be like 1% of what they currently have. I need money so I can buy clothes, so I can go out with friends and not have holes in my shoes, go to a movie, laugh….. just regular normal things that I need to do to finsih getting rid of depression. Who can I turn to? What should I do?
Thanks in advance for any advice you can give me.
Mauricio
ps:
I can’t get a job right now, because due to the depression, I would probably not be able to hold it for long. I first need to get my energy back to normal levels. I am a GREAT worker. Everywhere I have worked, I have been succesfull. I was top 10 in the NATION (USA) in car sales. I also worked for At&T where I recieved many awards for sales. Etc etc. I dont’ want you to think I am a lazy bum.
Thanks again,
Mauricio
Hi Mauricio,
I’ve read about your situation carefully a few times. I have no doubt that much of what you experienced in your childhood have given your depression plenty of “fuel” to burn.
If I have read between the lines correctly, you’re looking for some way that would make your parents help you financially, the rationale being that their cantankerous marriage had caused you distress and exacerbated your condition. You may want to speak with a social worker or an attorney, I don’t know what type of legal actions you may take.
I’m encouraged to know that you’re taking charge of your lifestyle and doing what you can to get yourself healthy physically and mentally. Depression does make holding down a job difficult at times, when the illness is at its worst. Given that you have a track record of success, have you looked into jobs that would offer you some flexibility in hours - even part time or freelance jobs? This may help your financial situation so that it does not become yet another factor in exacerbating your depression. I know that when I was a poor graduate student, living on minimum wage and have credit card debt, my financial situation did not help me feel better about my life or depression.
Also, you may want to check whether there are local chapters of support groups for people with depression. Often, it helps to be in a supportive environment and ask for advice from those who understand personally what you are going through.
Finally, from what you have said in your post, it does not sound like your parents are capable of feeling much compassion for you, as they are in their own denial about the type of marriage and parenthood they have had. There’s nothing you can do about that. I understand the feelings of anger you may have toward them. I’ve felt much rage and anger toward my parents and especially my mother over the years. But eventually I realized that they are who they are, and I was making myself miserable trying to change who they are or “getting them to understand” how their choices and behaviors have negatively affected me. Once I accepted this, I was able to refocus the attention back on my own life and how I would choose differently. It meant starting from zero (or negative), and working my own way out. It also meant I could then take credit for what I had accomplished, because I had to be self reliant for survival’s sake. I hope in time you will understand what I have taken years to learn, and relieve your parents of the responsibilities they have barely owned up to.
Wishing you the best,
Jane
I am 31 years old and dealing with a single mother who is bipolar. Her behavior over the last 3 weeks can justify that she is having a relapse. Iv’e grown up all my life with a loving mother who supports every single thing I do. But every now and then usually every 5 to 7 years she has a major relaps where she becomes defensive and emotionaly abusive towards me.
It is hare to handle because when things are good between us its great. And when she relapses its hard for me to keep in mind it is the disorder and not who she really is.
When I offer help or show concern that the medication isn’t working she becomes defensive and puts all the blame on me. She becomes irrational but at the same time will make sense which further confuses me.
I never considered myself a victim of emotional abuse ever until I started searching the internet for ways to deal with my situation. I lived with my mother up until Friday when I left because I couldn’t handle the stress. So far today she knows I am at work and has called me over 10 times between 7 am and 2 pm. Every other phone call is prasing me as a hero and a great daught who she adores and lookes upto and the phone calls in between are telling me how disobedient I am and telling me I am a liar and not trust worthy.
I have been an emotional wreck all day blaming myself for defending my character to my mother.
I am just so frustrated and didn’t realize there were so many different situation and so many other people that I didn’t know I could relate to.
I guess in the midst of my situation and depression I just wanted to say to anyone and everyone who reads this, to hold your head up high, Be strong, things usually get worse before they get better but be strong enough to strive for the better, I understand and God Bless!
Dear Rachel,
Thank you for sharing your story with me. From the multiple phone calls that oscillate between praising you and cutting you down, it does indeed sound like your mother is experiencing relapse, and you are at the brunt of her symptoms manifesting.
Understandably, you feel frustrated and feel as if you were an emotional wreck. One thing you may try - and this may be easier than spending energy defending your character to a loved one who is in an unrecognizable state of mind - is to simply agree with everything your mother said about you without having to believe this to be true. If she calls you a hero, agree with that, if she calls you a liar, agree with that. You can choose not to invest any emotional energy fighting it, because this is not a battle you can win.
Thank you for reminding others who know exactly how you feel to “hold your head up high and be strong.”
Jane
dear racheal,
I am a 43 year old mother of 4 and I have sciaio-affective bi-polar type one, Thankyou for your views on your mother for it at this time beneficial to me and the way that I am when I am relapsing. I cannot promise that this will help when I am in the middle of a relapse but it lets me know that I need to talk to my kids today. thankyou carol