Medically speaking, I’m “in remission” from clinical depression. When I get the blues now, the blue mood does not expand and darken into the sinister depression that left me functionally crippled (albeit still highly functioning) for many years. For a while, I struggled with keeping up this website. I used to see this website as a constant reminder of the pain I experienced from depression and emotional abuse. Who would want a constant reminder of these? Moreover, I wondered if keeping this website would be akin to “holding onto my past” instead of “letting go of my past so I can get on with my life.”

I have gone through relationship “crises” with this website, and it’s sort of like parent-child relationship, although I can’t be sure whether I was the parent or the child. At times I hold it in gratitude, for this held a record of the shadows in which I lived for a long time, and a record of my emergence from those shadows. At times I rebelled against it, for I did not like the reminder of the shadows when life seems to be going so well and when I was supposed to be “out there setting big hairy audacious goals for myself.” (more…)

Whatever we decide to call it, those of us who suffer from depression or bipolar disorder can spend a lot of our energy managing and coping with our symptoms. At “Diary of a Bipolar”, Philly Girl in Missouri gave some examples of how she had learned to cope and manage. She would send herself reminders and such.

A major trigger for my depression throughout my life had been the consequences of (childhood) emotional abuse.

Until recently, I hadn’t realized how much work managing this trigger is - or more accurately - managing the outdated coping mechanisms I used for dealing with emotional abuse.

Sometimes I’m not sure what drives me to depression faster - coping with emotional abuse or coping with my frustration at my slow progress to cope with emotional abuse.

Well, let’s just say both will get me on a road to depression unless I become alert to what is happening in my mind.

In some states, the application to becoming admitted into the state’s bar (and be able to practice as an attorney) includes a question about mental health.

Connecticut is one of those states - with question number 35 amended for July 2006. Applicants must also submit psychiatric records. Other states with similar questions in their application process included Colorado, Florida, Delaware and Kentucky.

Questions are:

“During the last ten years, have you been treated for any of the following: schizophrenia or other psychotic disorder, bipolar or major depressive mood disorder …” (plus 12 additional mental health conditions - Connecticut application).

“During the last 10 years, have you been hospitalized for treatment of any of the following: schizophrenia or other psychotic disorder, bipolar or major depressive mood disorder …” (plus similar wording as Connecticut’s application - Florida application).

Concern around this request for disclosure includes prospective lawyers who need help not daring to seek help in case their records show their mental health diagnosis.

What do you think? Given the responsibilities of an attorney - does these states have a case in asking for this type of information?