Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But Words Can Scar Me For a Very Long Time
Researchers at Florida State University published a study that showed children who were verbally abused grow up to be prone to depression and anxiety. According to the university’s news release, “Invisible scars: Verbal abuse triggers adult anxiety, depression“, adults who were verbally abused had almost twice (1.6 times) the number of depression and anxiety symptoms as those who were not verbally abused, and were twice as likely to have suffered a mood or anxiety disorder during their lifetime.
Dr. Sachs-Ericsson was the principal investigator in the study and said, “We must try to educate parents about the long-term effects of verbal abuse on their children. The old saying about sticks and stones was wrong. Names will forever hurt you.”
The study was published in the Journal of Affective Disorders and represented data collected from over 5000 people ranging from ages 15 to 54. The study also implicated a role in cognitive behavioral therapy as part of treatment, to replace conditioned thought patterns with new thought patterns that are less harmful for a verbally abused person.
I was surprised to read that the researchers were surprised almost 1/3 of the participants reported the abusive behavior to come from parents. Verbal abuse reported included insults, swearing, threats, and spiteful comments or behavior. I wouldn’t be surprisd if these also included inflicting shame on the child and making the child feel worthless or evil - something I’ve experienced growing up.
Over time, the child grows up to internalize these “tapes” and even begin to reinforce the hurtful statements herself. The child then grows up to become hyper self-critical. This is something I’ve also experienced, and can say that at least for me, the long-term consequences of verbal abuse is staggering.
I commend Florida State University researchers for conducting and publishing this study. I hope it helps give a voice to those who had been victimized, and I want this to be a wake-up call to those who still think that words can’t harm a child.
Child Abuse: Change Begins with Awareness
Those of you who are long time visitors know that child abuse and especially emotional abuse is a topic dear to my heart, because of my personal experiences with childhood emotional (sometimes physical) abuse.
Angela Mettler writes that awareness important in fighting child abuse, and understanding what this means.
According to South Dakota law, child abuse and neglect is when a child is inflicted physical and/or emotional harm, mistreatment, abandonment, or exploitation in many shapes and forms. Reports can be phoned in, sent in (written) by mail, or in person - and anonymously when required.
Often we think of child abuse cases as the most dramatic, visual ones - bruises and cuts and physical injuries. We often don’t see the hidden signs of abuse, and these are the emotionally abused children who give behavioral clues that something is terribly wrong in their lives.
Where child abuse is concerned, I’ll use this quote from Napoleon Bonaparte:
“Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent.”
Managing and Coping Takes a Lot of Energy
Whatever we decide to call it, those of us who suffer from depression or bipolar disorder can spend a lot of our energy managing and coping with our symptoms. At “Diary of a Bipolar”, Philly Girl in Missouri gave some examples of how she had learned to cope and manage. She would send herself reminders and such.
A major trigger for my depression throughout my life had been the consequences of (childhood) emotional abuse.
Until recently, I hadn’t realized how much work managing this trigger is - or more accurately - managing the outdated coping mechanisms I used for dealing with emotional abuse.
Sometimes I’m not sure what drives me to depression faster - coping with emotional abuse or coping with my frustration at my slow progress to cope with emotional abuse.
Well, let’s just say both will get me on a road to depression unless I become alert to what is happening in my mind.